My Dearest Sophia.... Before you were born I dreamed about you, not once but many times, I knew long before I had you that you would come into my life I even had your name picked out Sophia Margarita, your middle after your Grandmother. But for a moment I thought you would never come. My whole life I waited for the right moment, the right career, the right opportunity, the right man waited and waited, but time went by so fast I found myself reaching age 35 single and no where near finding the man I wanted to be your father. Now I was reaching since in Latin American countries women my age become old maids, never marry never have children. It was 2007 I remember and I was journaling one day, I was thinking about the type of man I wanted to marry, I made a list so detailed describing the characteristics I wanted him to have. A good heart, humble, a great sense of humor, passionate about life, the list went on, it was always about the inside and never the outside that was important to me. At the end of the list I wrote " And I will marry this man on 2009", I wrote as a declaration!!! I meant it with all my heart then I asked God to take my list in his hands, that I would stop searching and I would allow him to choose for me. Six months later I met your Daddy, the most amazing, loving, compassionate man I would ever meet. Amazingly almost two years later on May 30, 2009 we got married.....That's right 2009 like I said in my journal, I was lucky to have my prayer answered I will tell you all about it soon enough.
But first, I want to tell you about the day I though you would never come into my life. It was December 2010 and I remember feeling really weird that month, weird in a sense I was feeling worried because here I was happily married to the most amazing man and I was 37 years old. I was so afraid that I would not be able to get pregnant because history has it that most all the women in my family had early menopause and where not able have kids after a certain age. Daddy wanted to wait a little longer before we tried to have you, but I was feeling really anxious, sad at times, scared that I would not be able to have a baby, and it didn't make it easier that I was several pounds overweight as well. So by the end of December I realized that I hadn't gotten my monthly period, which in fact I was very regular like a clock. I was never late, every 28 days I could expect the visit lol.. But the month of November, December I missed my period. I came home one afternoon from work and just sat on my bed crying my eyes out, I didn't know what came over me, all I could think about was not getting my period and realizing that I might be going through early menopause. I wanted to be your Mommy so bad that my heart would break at the thought of not being able to get pregnant. Your Daddy came home and and walked into our room with a look of wonder in his face, "What's wrong" he asked, I cried out sobbing "I'm going through menopause"!!! He sat by me and held me tight, trying to console this emotional crazy person. Then the next two words that came out of his mouth changed my life forever.... "Your Pregnant" he said. I couldn't believe what he said, I said no way we have been taking care of ourselves since we were waiting to a few months more to start trying to get pregos. Daddy knew you were on your way without a doubt, even way before I took the pee on the stick test. I waited a couple of more days just in case I was just have an irregular cycle but then I couldn't wait anymore. I went into a CVS and brought the best digital pregnancy test, went back home and waited for your Daddy to come home from work so we would take the test together. I was sooooooooooooo nervous, because a year after we were married we thought I was pregnant and the test came back negative, but it wasn't your time then. I remember going into the bathroom and saying a little prayer, hoping that the stick said "Yes +". The worse part was waiting the few minutes before we see the results, I left the bathroom and got on my knees, Daddy got on his knees besides me and held my hand, he asked if I was ready to be a Mom. I was still in disbelief, but as the time drew near I couldn't even get up to see what the stick said. Daddy went into the bathroom looked at the stick, then looked at me then looked at the stick, I wanted to choke him lol, I yelled what does it say!!!!!! He yelled your going to be a Mommy!!! WOW those were the best words I ever herd in my life, we were so so soooooo happy and we just jumped around like to kids hugging and screaming, I felt so truly blessed that moment my little munchkin that I cried out of joy. So you see I dreamed of you, I prayed for you and you came into my life filling it with so much love, so much joy that each day is an adventure. Daddy and I love you to the Moon and Back.
Here is the magic stick hehe. January 13, 2011
